Category Archives: Relationship mgt

RESULT VS PROCESS (HOW YOU MIGHT FAIL EVEN AFTER WINNING)

WHY THE MEANS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE END

 “Without honor, victory is meaningless”

Most at times where we are so focused on the results, we allow the process to suffer.

It is true that results matter a lot. Many people are so focused on getting the results even to the extent that the methods mean so little to them.

You might finally achieve the result but what actually trail the wake of your path? In asset management, there is a particular term called post asset liabilities. Post asset liabilities are debts paid even after one does not own the asset. Did you achieve the result but still pay in terms of failed relationships? Continue reading RESULT VS PROCESS (HOW YOU MIGHT FAIL EVEN AFTER WINNING)

HOW UNHEALTHY AND UNEQUAL COMPARISON IS KILLING RELATIONSHIPS

A kid was proudly describing to two other kids on how his dad’s car is the best in the neighborhood. One of the two hearers cut him short and proved to him that the rich family living down the street has better car with good reasons. The kid became angry and sad at the same time.

Unhealthy comparison
Unhealthy comparison

Most times in life we hold on to certain things we have in life believing that they are the best. But from the moment a comparison is done with some other things and we find our own wanting, we (implicitly or explicitly) become sad about it. Worst of all, we start to become discontented with that which we have.

From the moment we put ourselves (or someone else does) on a scale with our colleagues, friends, or even strangers that we have not met, the feeling of inadequacy and redundancy comes in.

What if we are found better than the others? Continue reading HOW UNHEALTHY AND UNEQUAL COMPARISON IS KILLING RELATIONSHIPS

Why Great Ideas/Changes Meet Resistance and How to Overcome

The wolf and the pack
Strength of wolf and pack
It is always more like a shock to organizational leaders that changes they, themselves, see beyond every doubt that will be beneficial to their systems meet resistance. The employees and more surprising even the managers object to such changes, upgrades and let us call it improvement. The challenge comes from missing out certain ingredients during planning on how to start the change.


Missing Out Adequate Information Communication.
This can make even the most simple changes look complex. The complex changes, with adequate communication, will look very simple. Thus it is necessary to plan an adequate and comprehensive communication system before initiating a change. In planning the communication system, there are certain loopholes that need to be filled:
 

a. What is in the change for us (personally)? Continue reading Why Great Ideas/Changes Meet Resistance and How to Overcome

Animals’ Love: Why Humans Cannot Love Us the Way Animals Love Us.

Animals' love: why humans cannot love us the way animals love usI came across a beautiful photo on the internet, of a lady crying about missing her dog on her wedding day. I was really attracted by the photo and my friend Maria (who made the photo for the article) said: “ShimonK, why do we really have such affinity towards animals (our pets), can we not love the way animals do?” This spurred me to research, to ask a lot of people these questions:

  1. Why do you love your animal so much?
  2. Why does your animal love you so much?

Continue reading Animals’ Love: Why Humans Cannot Love Us the Way Animals Love Us.

A MORNING ACTIVITY THAT CAN MAKE YOUR DAY GREAT

Decision making is one of the greatest gift to man and is usually far more effective when backed up by willpower/ strong resolution.

Morning exercise that will make your day great
photo by MG Expressions

 Early in the morning is always a special time. It is the time to break the fast of the long night.

Quite a lot of people carry out different activities in the morning which do help them. A lot of activities such as planning for the day, exercising including yoga, jogging, etc., meditating and praying, reading, etc. All these are very good and I do recommend you should try some out

There is one activity that can drive our whole day. It can determine the nature of our day. Continue reading A MORNING ACTIVITY THAT CAN MAKE YOUR DAY GREAT

WHY IS THERE MORE HONOR IN FIXING DAMAGES THAN PREVENTING THEM?

More honor in fixing damagesIt is becoming an unspoken challenge that there is more honor in fixing things after they have damaged than preventing the damage from occurring. An ancient Chinese story recounted in Ron Moore’s “Making Common Sense Common Practice” goes like this “A lord of ancient China once asked his physician, a member of a family of healers, which of them was the most skilled in the art. The physician, whose reputation was such that his name became synonymous with medical science in China, replied, “My eldest brother sees the spirit of sickness and removes it before it takes shape, so his name does not get out of the house. My elder brother cures sickness when it is still extremely minute, so his name does not get out of the neighborhood. As for me, I puncture veins, prescribe potions, and massage skin, so from time to time my name gets out and is heard among the lords.” Continue reading WHY IS THERE MORE HONOR IN FIXING DAMAGES THAN PREVENTING THEM?

HOW TO BUILD A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP WITH A HEAT SINK

beautiful marriage
Making things beautiful

What makes a beautiful marriage? What makes it great?

I really admire Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s beautiful pictures (they took during their happy days), so beautiful! A thought just struck my mind with this question: who is the heat sink among the two for making these happy moments? (Let me not forget to say I admired their twin children; see the video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhCvtfJGkMI)

What is heat sink all about? Continue reading HOW TO BUILD A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP WITH A HEAT SINK

WHY PEOPLE LOVE TO MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE

You cannot reignite your candle or make it shine brighter by extinguishing another person’s. We will never feel better ourselves by making others feel as miserable as we are.

CYMERA_20151028_044733A lot of people are miserable with themselves. Since you cannot give what you do not have, they have only misery to share with others

A lot of people, in their own misery, aim to make sure that everyone around them feel as miserable as they do. They want every other persons to be on the same level as them, feel the same pain as they do (even when other do not deserve such). Some even secretly Continue reading WHY PEOPLE LOVE TO MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE

Your Relationship “Love” Has Not Died, Rather This Is What Might Have Happened

To fondness/desire add love and to love add desire, your relationship (any type of relationship) will be a long-lasting, great one filled with memorable moments!

There’s a great difference between love and fondness, between love and desire. Yet to have a great relationship, both are needed.A lot of people love but do not desire their partners.

What you might not know is that the love of money isn’t the root of all evil, rather the fondness for money. (Greek Bible used philaguria (fondness/desire or urge for money and not agapeguria (love of money)

For marriage and relationships, love (agape) cements while desire/fondness spices. Both build stronger relationships.

Most relationships start with the chemical reactions of desire, of want, (the catalyst formed is what I cannot explain as “the way of a man with a woman”.) The continuity of a relationship comes with love.It is easy to hear people say “over time I came to love my partner”. Continue reading Your Relationship “Love” Has Not Died, Rather This Is What Might Have Happened

THE THREE PRINCIPLES OF RELATIONSHIP

“The feeling of being more responsible to a relationship arises automatically when we feel wanted in the relationship”

Every relationship is unique in its own way whether it is social, marital, family/parent, work or even just friends. In spite of their differences, and just as we, humans are fundamentally equal, all kinds of relationship have three fundamental principles. These three principles start any relationship and go ahead to form a backbone knitting each together at any point. Frictions in relationships arise when any or all is lacking. The three things we all do desire from anyone we are in any relationship with are that they should:

  1. accept us
  1. want us
  1. be committed to our wellbeing.

Continue reading THE THREE PRINCIPLES OF RELATIONSHIP

Enrich Your Relationship with Letter of Gratitude

“Being grateful is usually heartwarming, not just to the receiver but also to the giver when it is truly sincere and out from the heart. This is because the giver, at that moment, is filled with the positive energy of gratitude which he sends to the receiver

Have we all just forgotten how to be grateful? Is it just when we receive something extraordinary from someone that we ought to be grateful? I think we are losing something here!

While taking the Leadership for Engineers course on www.edx.org, an online learning site, one of the major points for sustainable leadership was letter of gratitude. It involves writing a letter of appreciation to someone, anybody. This inspired me to start such up and since then, it has been a wonderful experience. Here is one I wrote to my dad

Dear dad, There are quite a lot of people I do admire but I would write about you. You are not just a great dad
but also a caring mentor and an awesome pastor to me and to quite a lot of people including my siblings.All my life, you have been Continue reading Enrich Your Relationship with Letter of Gratitude

When Lessons Learned Becomes Witch-hunting

When Lessons Learned Becomes Witch-hunting
What have you learned?
Lessons learned review is a process mostly used during the close of a project under project management. It is usually done to document the mistakes/ failures made during the project. Lessons learned reviews are not limited to project management only. It can be used in all other areas that are not projects icluding daily life styles and relationships.
For relationships, lessons learned is needed after quarrels, break ups and misunderstanding have been resolved.
The principal essence of lessons learned is to avoid repeating mistakes. Lessons learned reviews should not only dwell on the mistakes or failures. It should encompass both the threats and opportunities in the project or process. Continue reading When Lessons Learned Becomes Witch-hunting

Designing Happiness Through Effective Relationship & Leadership

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